The Cold-Hearted Truth

Something I've never really gotten used to is blogging. I think it's because it's so foreign to me, but nonetheless I don't really understand it. At first when I started this blog I wanted to use it with my DeviantArt account and be able to write how I feel and express my thoughts. 

Well, unfortunately that only happened for a few months. 

Right now I don't know how to explain it, but I just don't feel like myself. 
I sometimes feel as if I'm a body who is just walking around with a set schedule to do, but no motivation to venture out from it. Almost as if on a 24/7 routine. 

I don't know why but I have no motivation to even make art, take photos, or any of that.
I just want to be by myself

Sometimes I post things and sometimes I don't. Im never really attached to the things I post and just more so post it for the watchers I have on dA who enjoy seeing my photos.
I used to be the type of person who went out of my way to get a glimpse at a pretty site just to take a picture of it to edit and upload, I haven't been like that for a few years now. 

I also used to put make-up on to experiment and try new techniques...and again....now I just put it on if I'm going out of the house. 

It's weird to see how much I've changed in a few years, whether that be looks, my outlook on life, or just my day-to-day schedule. 

I can easily say, I'm just dead feeling right now. 

Maybe it's because I've gained weight and can't stand looking at myself in the mirror
or that I am depressed

Who knows but it sucks.

Kitten


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